10 Working Mom Secrets to Keeping the Chaos at Bay

10 Working Mom Secrets to Keeping the Chaos at Bay These days, tzu siches no shortage of advice on the internet geared toward helpingworking momshave it all the fast-paced career, the kids aged 18 months apart, a fulfilling social life, and even some me time on the side.Of course, having itallis pure hyperbole working motherhood and, indeed, parenthood in general comes with no shortage of tough choices to make and trade-offs to choose between. And who better to help provide insight into those choices than moms whove had to make them?To that end, we spoke to working moms atPepsiCoabout the tips and tricks theyve acquired that help them balance their work and family lives. Outside of choosing to work at atop-rated company for women,they said theyve found the secret isnt in having it all, but in making it all count. Heres how1. Accept that theres no one-size-fits-all solution.Amy Robinson, Director of Sales for Costco, recalls returning to work from maternity leave and seeking advice from a favored mentor. Only, the advice she got wasnt quite what she had in mindHer advice was, I can share with you how I do it, but you have to figure it out on your own, Robinson, who recently celebrated her 18th anniversary at PepsiCo, said. Everyones situation is different, in that whats important to you is different.PepsiCo Is Hiring Browse Opportunities.She added that, in recent years, the company has worked to recognize caregivers need for individualized guidance by implementing a coaching program for employees transitioning into and out of maternity leave.2. Check the apologies.Emily Tan, PepsiCos Director of Category Management for North American Nutrition, said that when she returned to work after taking maternity leave, she was struggling to keep her working-mom guilt at bay until her manager helped put things in perspective.Coming back from maternity leave, I was constantly apologizing to work, to my baby, to my young kids, Tan, whos been at the company 11 years, reca lled. I was telling my manager when I had to leave early and being apologetic about it, and he basically said, Stop. You dont need to tell me. You dont need to be apologetic. You need to do what you need to do and just go.Hearing these words from her boss, she said, was a game changer.When a manager creates that understanding that you dont need to worry about it, its a very heavy weight being lifted off your shoulders, she said. And that doesnt just apply to maternity leave, but also the mentality of being aworking mom.3. Forget balance your focus should be on this instead.For Meredith Nelson, a Senior Manager in Talent Acquisition Operations and auf der ganzen welt Programs and 12-year vet of PepsiCo, striving for work-life balance is a losing battle. Instead, the focus should be on something she calls work-life integration.Some days work gets mora of me, and other days my family wins, Nelson explained. Its more about the quality than the quantity of time, and knowing whats importa nt and then prioritizing and re-prioritizing around that.Flexibility is a crucial ingredient in making work-life integration happen. For women working under managers who arent naturally open to flexibility, though, Nelson said the key is in helping them understand the why.Its a lot easier for a manager to say yes when youve helped them understand the why, she said. In many cases, putting together a small business case to articulate whats in it for you, for them, and the business may be exactly whats needed.4. Keep your rckendeckung system near and dear.For some, like Robinson, that may mean making certain sacrifices when it comes to zip code.We moved from northern California to Chicago so that we would have a support system we loved California and wish we still lived there, but our family wasnt there, she explained. After our children were born, we made that huge decision to move so we could have that support and so that our children would know their family.Since relocating to Chica goland (something PepsiCo fortunately helped make possible), Robinsons parents have been able to take on some childcare duties, including school plattlup three days a week. From a career standpoint, thats truly been instrumental.I can arrange to stay longer two days a week at work, or sometimes my husband and I have done date nights, she said. Thats helped me to balance, to be able to say, Hey, I cant schedule something at 5 p.m. on Monday, but I can always schedule something Tuesdays and Thursdays.5. Your time is a precious commodity. Spend like it (when you can)Relocating to be near retired family isnt a possibility for everyone, of course. When Tan was returning to work from maternity leave, she and her husband decided they needed some extra support. So, they took on a live-in nanny for the first four transitional months, when they knew things would be trickiest.You think, Can I afford it? Absolutely bedrngnis but its something you need at that moment in time, she said. We knew that coming back to work, those four months were going to be tough. So we allowed ourselves that extra support system.Today, Tan and her husband manage their family of five without a nanny, but theyre still judicious when it comes to weighing money vs. time costs.These days, its easier being able to buchen everything online, she said. We know that when were paying more for convenience, that its a moment-in-time thing. Its what we need now, so we dont feel so badly about it.6. And speaking of time let your calendar rule all.Robinsons secret weapon to working-mom mastery? Sharing an online calendar with her husband.I live and die by my calendar, she said. My husband and I both have Outlook, so thats our one calendar work life, personal life, its all integrated into one calendar.They both use it religiously, and Robinson jokes her husband wouldnt remember to go pick up the kids without it.We schedule things all the time, like saying, Hey, I need to go into work early this day or I ne ed to stay late this day, she said. Its all on the calendar. So we know.For Nelson, one scheduling hack shes found to be helpful is making the fruchtwein use of clients global time zones.In order to manage it all, its not uncommon to have early morning meetings, she said. For the early morning meetings with other, global time zones, I usually try to schedule those before my children wake up to minimize impact on the morning routine.7. Prioritize as a family you shouldnt be the only one picking and choosing.While plugging away upcoming dates into her aforementioned calendar, Robinson makes her kids a part of the prioritizing process.I talk to the kids about what things they want me at, she explained. Some of the things, they dont care about. I try not to miss orchestra concerts, but I have missed parent-teacher conferences some people will judge you, but youre not going to make it to everything.Accepting that you cant be present at all events but that you can be there for the ones t hat matter is crucial, Robinson said.Thats how our family has always operated weve never missed anything (the kids) find important, she added.8. Communication is keySimilar to Robinson, Nelson has found that clear communication is the grease that keeps the wheels turning in both her work and home life.Communication is key with the school, and with the other parents, Nelson said. I use a template to communicate daily with my sons teacher so she knows if hes going to after-school care, getting picked up by another parent, or if my husband or I will be there at regular time.As far as work goes, she emphasizes the need for similarly direct communication with bosses.Its important to identify your boundaries and communicate them so that you can align on expectations if you have to leave to catch a train at X time, communicate it, she said. Know whats important to you, identify it, and communicate appropriately so that you set expectations and boundaries for whats most important to you.9 . When you need to leave, just leave (really).At the end of the work day, when you need to head out, do exactly that. It doesnt need to be any more complicated than that, Robinson asserted.Ive always just done me, she said. I get up and leave work at 4 p.m. to go get my kids, and I pretty much always have unless theres something going on. Then, Ill get back online at night. Everyones always asked me, How to do you do that? And its simple. I get up, and I walk out.Your relationship with your employer should be a partnership, she continued, and one thats built on trust. As long as you get your work done, it shouldnt matter what hour you walk out. Earlier in her career, though, Robinson admitted that she did have to navigate what the need for flexibility looks like when your boss is all about face time.I had to get with myself and figure out which was more important that my manager felt I was doing what I needed, or that I was doing what I needed. At the end of the day, my family is m ore important, she said. So, I was vocal about how I was going to manage it. I didnt ask for permission I informed it gets easier over time. Then people dont question you anymore.10. Give yourself a little credit.If after following all of the above steps, youstillcant totally shake the specter of working-mom guilt, remember youre only human.Its a heavy pressure we place on ourselves, and I think we just need to remember that we do that best that we can, Tan said. Because theres so much to do these days, youre certainly not going to be able to everything, all the time. Youre human. So give yourself a little more credit.--Fairygodboss is proud to partner with PepsiCo. Find a job there today